I’m not sure what’s with the whole obsession with turning sneakers into heels or anything that’s higher class than sneakers. I guess there might be something democratic in mixing low brow with high brow. Or maybe it’s just really avant-garde like that. Of course, sometimes taking risks doesn’t work out.

Case in point: Burberry Prorsum platform “pumps.” They’re sneakers with ginormous demi-wedge heels, a sort of monstrous, Frankenstein-ish hybrid of platforms, wedges, and casual sneakers (they’re even green like Frankenstein). They take “chunky” to a whole new, wholly dangerous level. These shoes look like walking around with giant anvils in your shoes. The designer gods weep before them.

Burberry Prorsum Platform Sneakers

Photo: Net-A-Porter

Insult to injury: you’ll have to shell out $850 for these. Check them at Net-A-Porter.